Sensitivity, Angels, and Friendship

Being sensitive is not always a blessing; in fact it can be a bit of a burden at times.  I don’t know if it is the fact that I can feel other people’s feelings and emotions or if it is simply being vulnerable that seems to drain me of my own energy, but whatever it is, it doesn’t always feel good. I’ve been told on many occasions that I need to learn how to protect my energies better, I’m just not quite sure how. For now though, I felt guided to place my facebook account on hold, so I deactivated it temporarily and so far it feels good.

I think that since I’ve been doing yoga more regularly I have opened up an even deeper emotional state in myself that allows me to be/feel even more open hearted than usual, yet it also attributes to me feeling more exposed, sensitive  and worn down in general.

I continue to struggle with my feelings of not fitting in. It is a real tough place to be. It doesn’t always bother me, but every once in a while it creeps back in and infects my thinking. I like to hang with Glenn, Sarah and Alex but there are times when I wish I had a best girlfriend to do girly stuff with. I am comfortable with myself and I like me the way I am. I just start to question myself as to whether I am not all that likeable to others. Maybe I’m not that approachable or easy to connect with. I don’t know, it sucks to dissect myself. I was looking over some older journal entries and it makes me sad to see that even several years ago I was yearning for friendships. I know Glenn is my best friend, but sadly, it doesn’t feel enough. I’m not sure what the reason is or why this is coming up now, but it is bothering me lately.

Whatever the reason, I feel as if I am on the mend. I started feeling overwhelmed with life, and then of course I became sick and needed essentially my entire carefree three day weekend to recover. So this past weekend I did not do much of anything but lay around and watch mindless tv in my sweats. It felt good to do nothing but I think this is all good indication that a vacation is way past overdue. Hawaii has infected my brain and is a recurring scenario in my mind. I am so tired of wearing socks and closed shoes. I am dreaming of sundresses, swimsuits, sandals…and Hawaii!

The weekend prior to this past weekend, I did take the time to make a second vision board. I mentioned it in my previous post that Sarah and I attended a party at a beautiful friend’s house where she was hosting a vision board party. Well, she had many different types of magazines from me and I was able to find so many wonderful images and phrases of the spiritual nature to include on the new spiritual vision board. I found so many angel things…my heart was singing an angel song.

Here it is for your viewing pleasure:

I hung them both behind my bedroom door and it is really amazing at how just looking at these affirmations starts the day of beautifully. I know it may look a bit busy, but I like it. It seems to fill my soul with happiness and good feelings. It makes me smile each time I look at these posters. Luckily with their strategic placement, they are the last thing I see before I fall to sleep and the first thing I see when I wake up.

I found so much joy in creating these boards that I have decided to be more creative, more often and I am considering bringing some angel crafts to the Santa Clara Art & Wine Festival next fall. I am going to start on all of my crafty things now so that I can rent a booth and be part of the big fun next year. I have lots of creative angel inspired ideas, and I like having a goal with a purpose. Again, that’s just a taste of my big idea, but I will continue to share as it all unfolds. Wait until you see the goodies I have in mind!

For now, that’s all I have on my mind. I am going to keep plugging along as happily as possible and doing what I do best…just being me.

Until next time,

Make someone’s day by simply smiling at them and showing you care.

Live, love, laugh and light,

Lisa

Back to Work and More!

This past week was back to work with the sweet and needy second graders. Though I was dreading getting back into the swing of things, it was remarkably more simple (aside from waking up early) than I anticipated. It honestly felt as if I never left. It also reinforced just how much I missed all of my little sweeties.  I have a very sensitive and thoughtful group of students and this week I got lots of hugs and love from them. They enjoy sharing their lives with me and sometimes I get an earful of unexpected information. For instance, while sitting in circle and sharing with each other about  holiday break, most students shared stories of visiting family, attending parties, receiving wonderful gifts from Santa and general pleasantries. However, there were a couple of awkward surprises. First one of my students shared that her uncle was so drunk and mean at a family get together that she wished he didn’t come to visit. Another student told me of her grandmother’s car accident that led to a drunk driving citation with her in the backseat, and having to spend the afternoon at the police department…and still one more student shared with me that his mother’s car was stolen on Christmas day(possibly by his father)!  It is sometimes hard for me, but I need to remember that these students live in a very different environment than my own children. I also need to remember that they have no filters when it comes to sharing and will openly tell me anything and everything, whether positive or negative. I always respond positively, but I do find that I get caught off guard on occasion.

On another note, Saturday mornings are my WW weigh in days. I attend a small meeting close by my house that I really enjoy. We have a great leader, a delightful receptionist and a nice group of members. They keep me going. For the past three weeks though, I have gained a small amount. I promised myself that I would not get caught up in the numbers, yet I am finding that I am being a bit negative with myself. I have to remember that I am not defined by a number. It is so easy to say, but more difficult to embed in your mind. For now, I am going to do what I know works best. I will track all of my meals and snacks, drink my water, work out regularly and include fruits and vegetables at every meal. Sounds simple doesn’t it? It is, and it would be if only I could stick to it each and every day. Either way, I continue to show up and attend weekly, listen and share with others and allow myself a fresh start each week for a healthier and improved week ahead.

Lastly, over the past week Sarah and I attended a vision board get together at the home of a lovely friend of mine. It was such perfect timing since I had just done that very activity the week prior. She added a bit more insight into the process that makes it even more worthwhile. She had us do this mindful process of reflecting on the past year and listing some of the successes and shortcomings. We then did something similar in projecting for the coming year. I found it to be a fantastic addition to what I had already done and I plan to tape it to the back of my board. I also decided that I am making another board specifically for my spirit/angel work, as she had many ideal magazines to choose from for that purpose. I promise to post it as soon as it is complete. IT IS GOING TO LOOK SO GOOD!

That’s it for now. I am off to enjoy this beautiful Saturday with my family. I don’t have any specific big plans, but I do know that I am going to have a great day. I may even go out to dinner with my sweetheart tonight.

Until next time…Dream Big, Shoot for the Stars, Believe in yourself, and never ever underestimate the power of love!

Live, love, laugh and light-

Lisa

Vision Board and more!

I thought I would share the vision board I completed yesterday. It feels strange for me to call it a “vision board” but that is the way it was introduced to me. I see it more as a wish list for the New Year, a compilation of the things that are important to me. 

First, let me say how wonderfully therapeutic it felt to cut out and configure all of these fantastic images, phrases and little cutie things that I enjoy. It was truly a labor of love. I did not want to complete this undertaking. I also discovered (what I already am aware of), or rather confirmed that I prefer the written language as compared to images. It seems that I found more phrases and words that were meaningful to me than I was able to find pictures. I think because I can envision my own images that are connected to the phrases and my own view and/or imagination is far more creative than what I was able to find. So, as you can see, my “wish list” is full of significant positive affirmations that speak directly to me.

This project was so much better than simply creating a list of resolutions (and I like to make lists) because it made me use my creativity. I can visualize seeing myself doing this each year, creating my own tradition and reflecting on the past years progress/fruition etc. 

I don’t know how well you can view all of the small things on my board, but I am sure with careful observation, you can see what is on my mind for the coming year. I really wasn’t even sure of what it was I was going to add to this board until I began looking, but now it all makes perfect sense. Now after completion, I am ready to list my main aspirations for the coming year.

Here goes:

• Save money $; Now that I finally have a professional position doing what it is I have trained for, I want to build my savings up so that we as a family can afford to do things that we enjoy as well as better prepare for unexpected setbacks. I also want to continue to outright pay for my children’s education so that when they get into the real world they are not burdened with debt.

 

• Health: this includes continuing to eat clean and healthy, incorporate more fruits and vegetables into my daily intake, remain accountable by weighing in each week at my Weight Watchers meeting. Though I have changed my view from solely weight loss focused, I am on a quest to continue this weight loss journey. However, it has become so much more to me. Now it’s about feeling good as opposed to just looking good.

• Exercise: I am the first to admit it; I can easily become lazy and accustomed to doing nothing if I have nothing to do. I do, on the other hand appreciate how good I feel when I am exercising and taking care of my body. So this year, I plan to make myself do the things I love, including yoga, bike riding, walking, attending my gym, (Sherri’s Gym…the best gym in the world for ladies) where Sarah has joined with me as a great buddy incentive, and someday attaining my dream of becoming a runner.

 

•  Being in the best shape of my life: mind, body and spirit. Mind you, I like to look like a sexy pin up girl in my bathing suits, but I also need to have a calm, quiet and focused mind so that I can continue working on me and living my best life. I plan to continue my spiritual/angel work and even have a new venture in mind! I’ll update as it unfolds.

• Vacation/Travel; I sure love to have fun things to look forward to and vacation is one of the most encouraging and motivating ways for me to stay on track. Having something ahead that is fulfilling really keeps me going. It gives me a chance to spend concentrated time with my busy, busy children. This year I am taking all of the kids (my kids + their significant others) to Disneyland for a long weekend of fun, since we’ve been talking about it forever. Another plan is that I am scheduling a trip to Las Vegas for Glenn and I as I have a good friend from high school that is getting married in April, so of course I plan on attending and seeing all of my old friends. I am also in the works for a 10 day Hawaiian get-a-way during the summer since I have two graduating seniors this year and our family really likes Hawaii. Who knows what else will pop up? For now, I’m just keeping an open mind.

There are plenty more “little things” that are incorporated into the board, but that’s the gist of it. I feel confident that these are all realistic and attainable goals that I will be able to achieve in the coming year. It looks like a mighty fine year ahead for this girl!

So please, do yourself a favor and make a wish board for the New Year and if you do, please share with me.

If you don’t ask the universe, you don’t get!

Dare to dream. Set your sights high and shoot for the stars-

Live, love, laugh-

Lisa

New Year, New Me!

Here it is, the first day of the new year, 2013. I plan on having a wonderful year. 2012 felt like a long a difficult year, especially the end of it. I'm hoping that this fresh start will be good for all. I am going to attempt to document my life in a place that is accessible to others, in hopes that my sharing will be of assistance to those that are interested.

 In 2011, I took drastic measures to lose weight, and I was successful in losing approximately 40 pounds. I was not able to maintain that entire loss as it was not done in a healthy, sustainable way. I am determined this year to obtain the best, most realistic way of becoming the healthiest me possible.

Yesterday I sat down to tear out magazine pictures in order to create a "vision board" for the new year. I wasn't even sure what it was going to be about. My plan was sort of a non-plan to just pull out pictures that were meaningful to me. It quickly became apparent that my new year vision board was about getting my body in the best shape possible, as most of the pictures and phrases that were calling out to me had to do with healthy eating and exercise.

 I'm not one to make resolutions (mostly because I think that every day is an opportunity to be your best) but I am determined to be the healthiest me I can be and this is the year I am certain I will obtain my goal.

 Last year I spent a lot of my time reawakening and developing a deeper spiritual side of myself and I feel that in doing so, it has put me in a place that is more in tune with my physical body, my heart, and my soul. I have absolutely become more sensitive to how my body feels in response to specific foods and stress. This is certainly a blessing in that it has changed my view of the past ultimate goal of simply "losing weight" to rather "gaining health."

 This year I commit to gaining health and being the best possible me I can be. Please join me and HAPPY NEW YEAR!