Being sensitive is not always a blessing; in fact it can be a bit of a burden at times. I don’t know if it is the fact that I can feel other people’s feelings and emotions or if it is simply being vulnerable that seems to drain me of my own energy, but whatever it is, it doesn’t always feel good. I’ve been told on many occasions that I need to learn how to protect my energies better, I’m just not quite sure how. For now though, I felt guided to place my facebook account on hold, so I deactivated it temporarily and so far it feels good.
I think that since I’ve been doing yoga more regularly I have opened up an even deeper emotional state in myself that allows me to be/feel even more open hearted than usual, yet it also attributes to me feeling more exposed, sensitive and worn down in general.
I continue to struggle with my feelings of not fitting in. It is a real tough place to be. It doesn’t always bother me, but every once in a while it creeps back in and infects my thinking. I like to hang with Glenn, Sarah and Alex but there are times when I wish I had a best girlfriend to do girly stuff with. I am comfortable with myself and I like me the way I am. I just start to question myself as to whether I am not all that likeable to others. Maybe I’m not that approachable or easy to connect with. I don’t know, it sucks to dissect myself. I was looking over some older journal entries and it makes me sad to see that even several years ago I was yearning for friendships. I know Glenn is my best friend, but sadly, it doesn’t feel enough. I’m not sure what the reason is or why this is coming up now, but it is bothering me lately.
Whatever the reason, I feel as if I am on the mend. I started feeling overwhelmed with life, and then of course I became sick and needed essentially my entire carefree three day weekend to recover. So this past weekend I did not do much of anything but lay around and watch mindless tv in my sweats. It felt good to do nothing but I think this is all good indication that a vacation is way past overdue. Hawaii has infected my brain and is a recurring scenario in my mind. I am so tired of wearing socks and closed shoes. I am dreaming of sundresses, swimsuits, sandals…and Hawaii!
The weekend prior to this past weekend, I did take the time to make a second vision board. I mentioned it in my previous post that Sarah and I attended a party at a beautiful friend’s house where she was hosting a vision board party. Well, she had many different types of magazines from me and I was able to find so many wonderful images and phrases of the spiritual nature to include on the new spiritual vision board. I found so many angel things…my heart was singing an angel song.
Here it is for your viewing pleasure:
I hung them both behind my bedroom door and it is really amazing at how just looking at these affirmations starts the day of beautifully. I know it may look a bit busy, but I like it. It seems to fill my soul with happiness and good feelings. It makes me smile each time I look at these posters. Luckily with their strategic placement, they are the last thing I see before I fall to sleep and the first thing I see when I wake up.
I found so much joy in creating these boards that I have decided to be more creative, more often and I am considering bringing some angel crafts to the Santa Clara Art & Wine Festival next fall. I am going to start on all of my crafty things now so that I can rent a booth and be part of the big fun next year. I have lots of creative angel inspired ideas, and I like having a goal with a purpose. Again, that’s just a taste of my big idea, but I will continue to share as it all unfolds. Wait until you see the goodies I have in mind!
For now, that’s all I have on my mind. I am going to keep plugging along as happily as possible and doing what I do best…just being me.
Until next time,
Make someone’s day by simply smiling at them and showing you care.
Live, love, laugh and light,
Lisa
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