February’s Life, Love and Busy-ness

     

It really is amazing how quickly time passes. It has been over a month since I last posted and so much has happened around here. February came and went in a flash. It was full of worry due to several events that are close to my heart. It all started with a letter I sent to CPS at Christmastime regarding my sweet little nephew, Christian, after he complained about some scary and disturbing happenings in his home environment.

          The chain of events that happened after my letter was sent has all happened quickly and intensely. I have been to court in San Luis Obispo twice in support of my brother and to protect Christian from his current difficult environment. In short, Christian has been appointed his own attorney that is further investigating and allowing Christian to have his own voice in court. His mother was proven a liar and we are due to follow up at the end of the month. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers that he will remain in good spirits and continue to be safe. I love him as if he was my own and more than anything, I would want him to be in the custody of my brother and in the care of my family. 

          Following all of that madness, my father in law suffered a heart attack on the same day I drove to and from SLO. It was one of the days I woke at 3:30am to brave the long drive. Upon my return I found out that Gramps was brought to the hospital. Glenn and I headed over there to find further details and we were in the hospital until late that night. It was one of those crazy days that you are absolutely on auto pilot and continue to push forth to get it all done. My mother in law definitely needed our support and we wanted firsthand information. Gramps is absolutely back to his old self and has been recovering well ever since. He did require surgery for intervention but came through it and has been in great spirits ever since. He is so resilient and has such a positive outlook, I have no doubt that he will not allow this to set him back. We are just pleased to have a healthy and happy Gramps again. He gave us all quite a scare. 

      I was fighting illness for what felt like a month. It began with bronchitis, lead to laryngitis and finally to asthma. I am back to feeling like myself again, but it is evident that working around all of the little germies has attributed to my poor health this year. I imagine after some time my immunities will build up and I will not catch every little bug that comes around. Until then, I will continue to enforce hygiene etiquette and hope for the best.

      At work I have been very busy this month as it was time for formal observations from the principal. Even though it is not such a big deal, it still raises the anxiety level. My observation was this past week and it went well according to the debrief meeting. Really, I am just happy to have it behind me. Also at work, we celebrated Valentine’s Day and I had no idea that it was such a big deal at our school. My students brought me so many gifts; gift baskets, chocolates, flowers and many, many assorted little goodies. I really had no idea. I definitely feel all of the love

      As for health, Aaron is attending WW meetings regularly with me again. We’ve switched to the Wednesday evening meeting and the leader is so much fun. She is lively, enthusiastic, funny and well informed. She makes it more engaging. The group is also very cohesive. Everybody is open to sharing and supportive of each other; just the way it should be. I’ve not lost much over the past month and this past week I was concerned. My new leader looked over my past week and all of my information and she has come to the conclusion that I am getting too much sodium. So, now that I am aware, I am being nit-picky about every little thing and trying to eliminate as much sodium from my intake as possible. I’ll keep you all posted and let you know next week if it makes a difference.

     

I have also been teaching yoga to students each week for our Fun Friday elective. It is remarkable to me that they have taken to the practice so well. They are definitely more flexible than I am and it makes me happy to see that they are taking it so seriously. I must admit that being sick and becoming so busy and overwhelmed, the first thing I have allowed to suffer has been my exercise routine. Wow…just confessing and writing this down feels bad and makes me want to figure it out and get back into my routine. In weeks past, Sarah and I have gone over our schedules on Sunday to determine which days for the following week are best for us to work out together. Today this is a must! I commit to attending the gym at least 3X this coming week. I also plan to either walk my dogs with Glenn or ride my bike around the neighborhood today. 

 

 

Other positives for the past month include signing up for Color Me Rad 5K run in September (I plan to train and actually run this one!). I was invited by a sweet friend to participate on her team. Sarah also signed up to do it. I have spent a lot of time with friends and family that included lunches, dinners, coffee, shopping and all of that good stuff. Our family was able to have Christian visit for a few days. The judge confirmed that he will be with us over the Spring break so we can take him with us on a big family Disneyland trip. I had a week off for Winter break where I mostly tried to recharge and regroup. I have spent a lot of time with Glenn as he has not been working regularly for several weeks. He has actually been invited to participate in a chronic pain management program that I think will change his/our life for the better. Finally I did book that trip to Las Vegas to attend my friend’s wedding in April. As always…having fun things to look forward to keeps us all going.

February started out extreme and seemed to fly by with one thing after another, but looking back it just feels like progress. That said, I am off to enjoy this beautiful day and continue making progress.

Until next time...Live, Love, Laugh and Light!

Sensitivity, Angels, and Friendship

Being sensitive is not always a blessing; in fact it can be a bit of a burden at times.  I don’t know if it is the fact that I can feel other people’s feelings and emotions or if it is simply being vulnerable that seems to drain me of my own energy, but whatever it is, it doesn’t always feel good. I’ve been told on many occasions that I need to learn how to protect my energies better, I’m just not quite sure how. For now though, I felt guided to place my facebook account on hold, so I deactivated it temporarily and so far it feels good.

I think that since I’ve been doing yoga more regularly I have opened up an even deeper emotional state in myself that allows me to be/feel even more open hearted than usual, yet it also attributes to me feeling more exposed, sensitive  and worn down in general.

I continue to struggle with my feelings of not fitting in. It is a real tough place to be. It doesn’t always bother me, but every once in a while it creeps back in and infects my thinking. I like to hang with Glenn, Sarah and Alex but there are times when I wish I had a best girlfriend to do girly stuff with. I am comfortable with myself and I like me the way I am. I just start to question myself as to whether I am not all that likeable to others. Maybe I’m not that approachable or easy to connect with. I don’t know, it sucks to dissect myself. I was looking over some older journal entries and it makes me sad to see that even several years ago I was yearning for friendships. I know Glenn is my best friend, but sadly, it doesn’t feel enough. I’m not sure what the reason is or why this is coming up now, but it is bothering me lately.

Whatever the reason, I feel as if I am on the mend. I started feeling overwhelmed with life, and then of course I became sick and needed essentially my entire carefree three day weekend to recover. So this past weekend I did not do much of anything but lay around and watch mindless tv in my sweats. It felt good to do nothing but I think this is all good indication that a vacation is way past overdue. Hawaii has infected my brain and is a recurring scenario in my mind. I am so tired of wearing socks and closed shoes. I am dreaming of sundresses, swimsuits, sandals…and Hawaii!

The weekend prior to this past weekend, I did take the time to make a second vision board. I mentioned it in my previous post that Sarah and I attended a party at a beautiful friend’s house where she was hosting a vision board party. Well, she had many different types of magazines from me and I was able to find so many wonderful images and phrases of the spiritual nature to include on the new spiritual vision board. I found so many angel things…my heart was singing an angel song.

Here it is for your viewing pleasure:

I hung them both behind my bedroom door and it is really amazing at how just looking at these affirmations starts the day of beautifully. I know it may look a bit busy, but I like it. It seems to fill my soul with happiness and good feelings. It makes me smile each time I look at these posters. Luckily with their strategic placement, they are the last thing I see before I fall to sleep and the first thing I see when I wake up.

I found so much joy in creating these boards that I have decided to be more creative, more often and I am considering bringing some angel crafts to the Santa Clara Art & Wine Festival next fall. I am going to start on all of my crafty things now so that I can rent a booth and be part of the big fun next year. I have lots of creative angel inspired ideas, and I like having a goal with a purpose. Again, that’s just a taste of my big idea, but I will continue to share as it all unfolds. Wait until you see the goodies I have in mind!

For now, that’s all I have on my mind. I am going to keep plugging along as happily as possible and doing what I do best…just being me.

Until next time,

Make someone’s day by simply smiling at them and showing you care.

Live, love, laugh and light,

Lisa

Back to Work and More!

This past week was back to work with the sweet and needy second graders. Though I was dreading getting back into the swing of things, it was remarkably more simple (aside from waking up early) than I anticipated. It honestly felt as if I never left. It also reinforced just how much I missed all of my little sweeties.  I have a very sensitive and thoughtful group of students and this week I got lots of hugs and love from them. They enjoy sharing their lives with me and sometimes I get an earful of unexpected information. For instance, while sitting in circle and sharing with each other about  holiday break, most students shared stories of visiting family, attending parties, receiving wonderful gifts from Santa and general pleasantries. However, there were a couple of awkward surprises. First one of my students shared that her uncle was so drunk and mean at a family get together that she wished he didn’t come to visit. Another student told me of her grandmother’s car accident that led to a drunk driving citation with her in the backseat, and having to spend the afternoon at the police department…and still one more student shared with me that his mother’s car was stolen on Christmas day(possibly by his father)!  It is sometimes hard for me, but I need to remember that these students live in a very different environment than my own children. I also need to remember that they have no filters when it comes to sharing and will openly tell me anything and everything, whether positive or negative. I always respond positively, but I do find that I get caught off guard on occasion.

On another note, Saturday mornings are my WW weigh in days. I attend a small meeting close by my house that I really enjoy. We have a great leader, a delightful receptionist and a nice group of members. They keep me going. For the past three weeks though, I have gained a small amount. I promised myself that I would not get caught up in the numbers, yet I am finding that I am being a bit negative with myself. I have to remember that I am not defined by a number. It is so easy to say, but more difficult to embed in your mind. For now, I am going to do what I know works best. I will track all of my meals and snacks, drink my water, work out regularly and include fruits and vegetables at every meal. Sounds simple doesn’t it? It is, and it would be if only I could stick to it each and every day. Either way, I continue to show up and attend weekly, listen and share with others and allow myself a fresh start each week for a healthier and improved week ahead.

Lastly, over the past week Sarah and I attended a vision board get together at the home of a lovely friend of mine. It was such perfect timing since I had just done that very activity the week prior. She added a bit more insight into the process that makes it even more worthwhile. She had us do this mindful process of reflecting on the past year and listing some of the successes and shortcomings. We then did something similar in projecting for the coming year. I found it to be a fantastic addition to what I had already done and I plan to tape it to the back of my board. I also decided that I am making another board specifically for my spirit/angel work, as she had many ideal magazines to choose from for that purpose. I promise to post it as soon as it is complete. IT IS GOING TO LOOK SO GOOD!

That’s it for now. I am off to enjoy this beautiful Saturday with my family. I don’t have any specific big plans, but I do know that I am going to have a great day. I may even go out to dinner with my sweetheart tonight.

Until next time…Dream Big, Shoot for the Stars, Believe in yourself, and never ever underestimate the power of love!

Live, love, laugh and light-

Lisa

Vision Board and more!

I thought I would share the vision board I completed yesterday. It feels strange for me to call it a “vision board” but that is the way it was introduced to me. I see it more as a wish list for the New Year, a compilation of the things that are important to me. 

First, let me say how wonderfully therapeutic it felt to cut out and configure all of these fantastic images, phrases and little cutie things that I enjoy. It was truly a labor of love. I did not want to complete this undertaking. I also discovered (what I already am aware of), or rather confirmed that I prefer the written language as compared to images. It seems that I found more phrases and words that were meaningful to me than I was able to find pictures. I think because I can envision my own images that are connected to the phrases and my own view and/or imagination is far more creative than what I was able to find. So, as you can see, my “wish list” is full of significant positive affirmations that speak directly to me.

This project was so much better than simply creating a list of resolutions (and I like to make lists) because it made me use my creativity. I can visualize seeing myself doing this each year, creating my own tradition and reflecting on the past years progress/fruition etc. 

I don’t know how well you can view all of the small things on my board, but I am sure with careful observation, you can see what is on my mind for the coming year. I really wasn’t even sure of what it was I was going to add to this board until I began looking, but now it all makes perfect sense. Now after completion, I am ready to list my main aspirations for the coming year.

Here goes:

• Save money $; Now that I finally have a professional position doing what it is I have trained for, I want to build my savings up so that we as a family can afford to do things that we enjoy as well as better prepare for unexpected setbacks. I also want to continue to outright pay for my children’s education so that when they get into the real world they are not burdened with debt.

 

• Health: this includes continuing to eat clean and healthy, incorporate more fruits and vegetables into my daily intake, remain accountable by weighing in each week at my Weight Watchers meeting. Though I have changed my view from solely weight loss focused, I am on a quest to continue this weight loss journey. However, it has become so much more to me. Now it’s about feeling good as opposed to just looking good.

• Exercise: I am the first to admit it; I can easily become lazy and accustomed to doing nothing if I have nothing to do. I do, on the other hand appreciate how good I feel when I am exercising and taking care of my body. So this year, I plan to make myself do the things I love, including yoga, bike riding, walking, attending my gym, (Sherri’s Gym…the best gym in the world for ladies) where Sarah has joined with me as a great buddy incentive, and someday attaining my dream of becoming a runner.

 

•  Being in the best shape of my life: mind, body and spirit. Mind you, I like to look like a sexy pin up girl in my bathing suits, but I also need to have a calm, quiet and focused mind so that I can continue working on me and living my best life. I plan to continue my spiritual/angel work and even have a new venture in mind! I’ll update as it unfolds.

• Vacation/Travel; I sure love to have fun things to look forward to and vacation is one of the most encouraging and motivating ways for me to stay on track. Having something ahead that is fulfilling really keeps me going. It gives me a chance to spend concentrated time with my busy, busy children. This year I am taking all of the kids (my kids + their significant others) to Disneyland for a long weekend of fun, since we’ve been talking about it forever. Another plan is that I am scheduling a trip to Las Vegas for Glenn and I as I have a good friend from high school that is getting married in April, so of course I plan on attending and seeing all of my old friends. I am also in the works for a 10 day Hawaiian get-a-way during the summer since I have two graduating seniors this year and our family really likes Hawaii. Who knows what else will pop up? For now, I’m just keeping an open mind.

There are plenty more “little things” that are incorporated into the board, but that’s the gist of it. I feel confident that these are all realistic and attainable goals that I will be able to achieve in the coming year. It looks like a mighty fine year ahead for this girl!

So please, do yourself a favor and make a wish board for the New Year and if you do, please share with me.

If you don’t ask the universe, you don’t get!

Dare to dream. Set your sights high and shoot for the stars-

Live, love, laugh-

Lisa

New Year, New Me!

Here it is, the first day of the new year, 2013. I plan on having a wonderful year. 2012 felt like a long a difficult year, especially the end of it. I'm hoping that this fresh start will be good for all. I am going to attempt to document my life in a place that is accessible to others, in hopes that my sharing will be of assistance to those that are interested.

 In 2011, I took drastic measures to lose weight, and I was successful in losing approximately 40 pounds. I was not able to maintain that entire loss as it was not done in a healthy, sustainable way. I am determined this year to obtain the best, most realistic way of becoming the healthiest me possible.

Yesterday I sat down to tear out magazine pictures in order to create a "vision board" for the new year. I wasn't even sure what it was going to be about. My plan was sort of a non-plan to just pull out pictures that were meaningful to me. It quickly became apparent that my new year vision board was about getting my body in the best shape possible, as most of the pictures and phrases that were calling out to me had to do with healthy eating and exercise.

 I'm not one to make resolutions (mostly because I think that every day is an opportunity to be your best) but I am determined to be the healthiest me I can be and this is the year I am certain I will obtain my goal.

 Last year I spent a lot of my time reawakening and developing a deeper spiritual side of myself and I feel that in doing so, it has put me in a place that is more in tune with my physical body, my heart, and my soul. I have absolutely become more sensitive to how my body feels in response to specific foods and stress. This is certainly a blessing in that it has changed my view of the past ultimate goal of simply "losing weight" to rather "gaining health."

 This year I commit to gaining health and being the best possible me I can be. Please join me and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2012, Here I come!

I am the first to admit it…I am a terrible blogger. As much as I would like to be consistent, I’m just not. It is always in the back of my mind to document this or that, but I get so busy that I hardly allow myself any down time. Today is actually the first unplanned day that I have not absorbed with busyness in three weeks. I had a quiet day last Sunday, but I filled every moment of it with something and it ended up being anything but a quiet down day.

Now that I have been feeling well, I have taken on a second teaching position. Not that I needed another job. I was simply seeing what else might be available to me. I even rescheduled my interview TWICE because other things kept coming up. I told myself that I would listen to what she had to offer and then take some time to think about it. I even rehearsed my response in the car on the way to the interview promising myself not to jump into anything, but rather to talk it over with Glenn and really ponder how taking on a second job would affect my life and the healing I have been going through. However, as soon as I arrived I knew that I really, really liked the girl I would be working for. She owns a tutoring center and only hires credentialed teachers. She pays really well and it seemed like I wouldn’t need to give up too many hours per week of my time. What really reeled me in tough was the fact that she sends her employees out to the low income schools to tutor the struggling students. OMG WOW! This is exactly the kind of work I live for. So, I suppose I needn’t even say that my plan to think it over went right out the window. And, flattery always works with me. She said that she looks for a “sparkle” in her employees, but she said that I do not just sparkle, I “shine.” She won me over. It is a twelve week contract position that should be complete towards the end of March. She said that she wants to keep me to work in the center afterwards, but we’ll see. I’m kinda tired. My afternoons have now been consumed with tutoring ten students in either math or language arts skills. It makes for a much longer day, but I feel good about it, like I am really making a difference

Beyond that, there are several other great projects I am working on. First of all, my children’s book, Ozzy and Crackers is really coming along. I anticipate it actually coming to fruition in several months. Sarah has agreed to be my illustrator and I couldn’t be happier. She knows just how I want my images portrayed. I think the only setback will be that Sarah is so busy herself that getting serious about the book will take up a lot of her time, so I will just need to be patient. We are also both joining the SCBWI which is the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators. Through serendipity, we have even met with the regional director of our local chapter and it looks like Sarah may even intern this summer at her publishing house. It really is amazing to me how you can merely “ask” the universe for things and they seem to materialize.

The other cool thing I am doing right now is teaching adults to read. My local library sponsors this program called Read Santa Clara and I have been interested in participating for a long time, but never had the time. I recently came across the flyer that I had picked up eighteen months ago and decided to look it up. I did and found that I had missed the most current orientation by only several days. My little voice told me to call and email anyway, so I did. Not ten minutes later the program coordinator called to tell me that if I were still interested she would hold a private orientation for me on that particular day. She also told me that the training started the following day. So this is part of the reason I have not been able to relax and have a down day. My last couple weekends have had me training to teach adults to read. I really cannot wait to be matched up with a learner. I think that this may turn out to be my most rewarding endeavor ever!

As for my work at Mulberry, after Christmas it seemed that there was not enough real work for me to do. It was apparent that the lady I aide for didn’t really need me there. I know that the ratio numbers say otherwise, but she can handle the class all by herself. It came down to the point where she was running out of things for me to do and resorting to mindless tasks like asking me to sharpen pencils, dust shelves and clean out the sink. Mind you, I am not above doing any of these tasks, but I started feeling super bleak about the future. I mean, it was only January and she had already run out of work for me. I was also spending many a morning sitting and watching her lead lessons while I had absolutely nothing to do. I tell ya, it is awful hard to get up at six am knowing that I had an entire shift of nothing ahead of me. I like having something to do and now my something was turning out to be nothing. I ended up going into the office to talk to the head of the school and the operations manager. I told them that I would type up my resignation more formally, but that I was giving my notice as I felt that I wasn’t really needed. They both actually asked me to hold that thought and give them some time to sort it out. They told me that I am loved by the community, the staff and also by all the students and that they do not want to lose me. They said that if I could not be put to use in my assigned classroom, then I could tutor language arts to the struggling students in all of the other classrooms. I agreed, we worked it, out and I have been busy ever since doing worthwhile, valuable work. Actually this past week I completed all of the third graders reading assessments for the second time. It was incredibly rewarding to see documented evidence of student progress in three months time. (I had done them for all students previously in November). I am also being requested by the second grade to conduct some of her more difficult reading assessments, so now I definitely feel more useful.

Lastly, I had a really nice Christmas. It was one of the quietest I’ve ever had, but definitely one of the best. I was able to get my sweet little nephew for a long visit and that was very special. I spent a lot of time relaxing and trying not to get caught up in all of the materialism. I felt like I didn’t get out shopping until late, due to busyness and a tight schedule, but it all fell into place in the end. It wasn’t the norm, but we did see all of our family, spend lots of wonderful time together and we all enjoyed having some time off.

I plan on having one of my best years ever. 2012 has so much promise.

My next blog is a work in progress. I’ve started it twice, but cannot seem to find the right words. It is about my spirituality and my belief in angels. I want to share, but it seems to be so intimate and personal to me that I need to have just the right words.

Wait and see…